Snape's Reasons
by lilith210
Summary: Snape comes to Dumbledore wishing to rid himself of Lord Voldermort, but first he must show Dumbledore his reasons.
1. The Plea

He ran toward the stone gargoyle that served as an entrance to Dumbledore's office. He stopped in front of it; he had no idea what the password was. He let out a howl of exasperation and looked directly into the gargoyles eyes and he felt as if someone was looking back at him.

The gargoyle groaned, sprang to the side and revealed it the hidden staircase behind it. He mounted the staircase as it twirled up to the office; nearly jumping off before the staircase reached the door. He flung it open, not bothering to knock. He ran to Dumbledore's desk and collapsed into the chair in front of it, his breath caught in his throat and tears slid from his eyes making streaks under them through the grime on his face.

"So Severus," said Dumbledore, keeping the back of his chair towards Snape. "You now choose to join us, do you?"

Snape stared at the back of Dumbledore's chair; sometimes he gave Snape the ominous feeling that he could delve into his mind. "I wish to renounce my life of destruction and service to Lord V-Voldemort."

Dumbledore turned his chair and looked directly at him, "Why Severus? Why should I trust you?" There was a mixed look of interest and hate in Dumbledore's face.

Snape was lost for words to describe it, what he had seen, what he had done. How could he possibly convey to Dumbledore that all he wanted was to be loved and respected and the price he paid for it?

"It's all in your mind Snape, if you cannot tell me can you possibly show me?" Dumbledore asked calmly. Dumbledore walked over to a cabinet behind his desk and pulled out a stone basin decorated with runes on the edge and full of a silvery gas-liquid.

He placed the bowl on the desk in between them, "Do you know what this is Severus?" Snape nodded, it was a Pensieve, and this one seemed particularly full. Dumbledore seemed to have been in possession of it for quite a long time.

"Do you know how to use it?" Snape again nodded, you simply extracted thoughts from your mind and placed them into the Pensieve. Then you stirred the thoughts and an image would appear, and if you touched the liquid you would be inside that persons memory.

"May I?" Dumbledore asked almost coyly as he brought out his wand. Yet again Snape nodded, he seemed completely unable to speak. Dumbledore walked up to him and placed his wand at Snape's temple just at the roots of his greasy black hair.

A few strands of silver liquid strings clung to the end of the wand; Dumbledore placed them into the Pensieve and stirred the substance. Images from Snape's past arose out from the depths of the basin.

* * *

A/N: I did a little editing so it should be a little better, but not much. This fic was inspired by GoF when Harry asks himself "And, Why...why, was Dumbledore so convinced that Snape was truly on their side." Well this is my version of why. So no likey, no readie, no complainy, M-Kay. I, sadly, do not own these characters they belong to J.K. Rowling (she's so lucky.)


	2. The Memory

The Memory  
  
(Author's Note: Okay I created Anna and Marie so I could have characters to manipulate. So well as I said before if you don't like my story don't read it and don't complain about it. Oh and I don't own the characters, do I really need to tell you that)  
  
Snape stood outside the Charms classroom waiting. He was able to slide out of History of Magic without being noticed and now he was going to do one of the craziest things he had ever done. The bell rang and the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws scrambled out.  
  
The last to exist the classroom were Anna Morna, Lily Evans, and Marie Constanance, Snape's distant cousin. Snape took a deep sigh and walked toward them, Lily gave him a nasty look. He wasn't surprised he was constantly calling her a mudblood.  
  
"Uh.Anna," Snape stammered, "c-can I talk to you a-alone?"  
  
Lily looked mutinous, but Anna didn't seem to notice, instead she followed him to their Defense Against the Dark Arts class.  
  
The hall was practically deserted, Snape just stood in front of her staring. She was gorgeous; she was tall and slim with long perfectly shaped legs. Her hair was strawberry blonde and her eyes were sea green.  
  
"Anna would you like to go to the next Hogsmeade trip with me?" he asked quickly, before he could change his mind.  
  
"Oh," she said rubbing the back of her neck, "you see. I already have plans."  
  
His disappointment showed vividly on his face, Anna took his wrist in her hand. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when Lily and Marie had arrived. James Potter was with them, his hand in holding his girlfriend's, Lily, tightly. James didn't like Snape either, at any given point they could be found cursing one another.  
  
Lily, James and Marie entered the classroom; Anna smiled at Snape and followed her friends. Snape entered the class after her and took a seat in the back corner.  
  
Anna, Lily, James, and Marie were sitting a few tables ahead; Snape sat staring at the back of Anna's head until Sirius Black obscured his view. Next to Sirius sat Peter Pettigrew and a sickly looking Remus Lupin. Anna turned when Sirius sat down, gave him a glittering smile and whispered something into his ear.  
  
Snape's stomach gave an almighty lurch, was she making plans to go to the next Hogsmeade trip with Sirius, was she interested in him; his mind reeled with questions.  
  
There was a scraping sound next to him; Marie had taken the seat where Avery usually sat. "Quit staring, it's a little pathetic," she joked; she smiled her blood red lips thinning. She did look somewhat like him, her hair was jet black, but not greasy like his, her skin was pale, but not eerily pale as his was. She had an athletic build, long limbs and red brown eyes.  
  
"Is it that obvious?" he asked his voice showing his embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, yeah it was," she replied still smiling. She clapped a hand onto his shoulder, "She's noticed and well. she's complimented." Marie stood up and walked back to her seat. Snape's spirit soared; he just hoped that Marie wasn't just saying it to make him feel better.  
  
After class Sirius, James, Peter, Remus, Lily, Marie and Anna walked out together immersed in conversation, Snape followed close behind.  
  
"I love that class," Marie stated, "I mean how could I not."  
  
"It is pretty awesome," said Sirius dreamily.  
  
"I think one day I'd like to teach it," Marie said casting a slight glance over her shoulder at Snape.  
  
"Personally I would like to teach Divination," Anna added. "I have sort of an. an affinity towards it."  
  
"I think you would make a great teacher," Snape stated before he knew what he was saying.  
  
"Really Snivellus is that what you think-OUCH!" Sirius started but stopped when Anna slammed her foot onto his.  
  
"Thank you Severus. Would you ever like to be a teacher?" Anna asked sweetly.  
  
"Um.yeah, either Defense Against the Dark Arts or Potions. Mostly Defense though," he answered flattered.  
  
"Are you sure you would want to teach the Dark Arts you-OWW! ANNA WILL YOU STOP THAT!" Sirius bellowed rounding on Anna.  
  
"We should go," Marie intervened trying to hinder the oncoming fight.  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said blankly and they walked away. Sirius walking backwards menacingly shooting sparks out of the end of his wand.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Well Severus," said Dumbledore as the images returned to the bottom of the Pensieve, "I believe that is all for tonight."  
  
He stood set his had on Snape's shoulder and led him toward the door, "I will see you to the hospital wing, and you can sleep there until we resume tomorrow."  
  
Dumbledore led Snape to the hospital wing and settled him into a bed. Snape listened as the door clicked shut, he suddenly felt so tired. He head seeped into the pillow and he fell into a deep sleep. 


	3. Once Upon a Dream

Once Upon a Dream  
(Author's Note: this scene was inspired by Beauty and the Beast and I couldn't help but put in a refrence to one of my favorite movies, Once upon  
a dream from sleeping beauty. You know the rest.)  
  
A chandelier in the center of the ballroom set shinning spots of lights onto the walls. Snape was wearing black billowy pants, a black shirt and a sweeping black cape.  
  
Anna entered from a door on the far end of the room. She wore a pink dress that flowed down her figure. She walked toward him and curtsied as he bowed.  
  
She took his left hand in hers, she set her ring hand on his shoulder and he set his right hand on her waist.  
  
I know you  
  
I walked with you once upon a dream.  
  
He dipped her and brought her back up. She was so close he could feel her nose against his and her hair fell against his cheek. He stared into her eyes; they were electric.  
  
I know you  
  
the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam  
  
He spun her; her hair fanned out and glistened from the shinning lights of the chandelier. She was now against him, he could hear her heart beat, her hot breath rush across his cheek.  
  
Yes, I know it's true  
  
that visions are seldom all they seem  
  
But if I know you, I know what you'll do  
  
You'll love me at once  
  
the way you did once upon a dream  
  
"I love you," Snape whispered softly into her ear. He leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away. Snape gave her a puzzled look.  
  
"This is just a dream," she whispered sweetly into his ear and stepped back. She let out a bloodcurdling scream, as there was a flash of blinding green light.  
  
Snape's eyes shot open he was panting slightly his eyes darted across the room. He slowly began to remember where he was; it was not necessarily a comforting thought. 


	4. The Reason

The Reason  
  
(Author's Note: This chapter isn't all that great but well I don't care  
it's good enough for me. And besides I couldn't come up with anything  
better. You know the rest of the drill. Oh yeah Un taco?)  
  
Snape again was sitting in Dumbledore's office with the Pensieve between them. An image drifted to the surface, Dumbledore watched intently.  
  
Snape walked through the deserted hallway; laughter from a nearby classroom broke the silence of the castle. He looked at the door where the laughter had come from; it was slightly ajar.  
  
"Sirius Black you are the WORST dancer I have ever met," Anna laughed her head buried in his shoulder, her body shaking with laughter. Sirius had his hand on her lower back and he leaned over to kiss her on the top of the head.  
  
It was at that moment that Sirius caught sight of Snape. "What are you looking at Snivellus?" barked Sirius. He headed toward the door reaching for his wand.  
  
Snape darted from the door; he stopped at the top of the staircase that led the to Slytherin common room.  
  
"Severus! Severus please wait," Anna called after him.  
  
He wheeled around and advanced on her, his eyes filled with pure, white-hot anger. "What?" he snapped  
  
"Look Severus." Anna started.  
  
"No you look," he shot at her, "first you led me on and then I find you snogging Sirius."  
  
"I was not snogging."  
  
"Just shut up, you power hungry wench. That's what you like about him, huh? Is it because he makes other people bow to his will that you faun all over him?"  
  
"Severus Snape, you know that's not true," she said growing extremely annoyed.  
  
"I don't want to hear it. Just go," he ordered her and continued down the stairs.  
  
He snapped the door to the common room shut behind him and inhaled a deep shuttery breath. Avery stood and gave Snape a puzzled look, "What's wrong with you?"  
  
Snape sighed deeply and proceeded to tell Avery everything that happened, "And now all I want is a little power, so people will respect me and then maybe Anna will pay attention to me." He slumped down onto one of the armchairs by the fires.  
  
"Well," said Avery taking a seat next to Snape, "There is this man, Lord Voldermort, he's gaining a lot of power and is looking for followers. See, I was thinking of joining him, and, well, maybe you can too."  
  
Snape turned the thought over in his head and nodded, "Yeah. Okay. When do we go?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Snape was sobbing, his head buried in his hands. Across the table Dumbledore gave him a semi-compassionate look.  
  
"I should have believed her. I was being so stupid," Snape sobbed.  
  
"Yes you were," Dumbledore stated simply. 


	5. The Mark

The Mark (Author's Note: I'm not quite sure if I did this chapter justice, but this is how I believe it happens when you become a Death Eater. Thank you very  
much for the good reviews, I wasn't sure if anyone would like it well,  
that's all for my author's note. Don't stop believing hold on to this  
feeling-journey (don't ask))  
  
Snape and Avery were sitting in a parlor room waiting for someone to bring them into the main room of the house. Snape's palms were sweating and he bouncing one leg up and down rapidly. Avery shot Snape a look of annoyance. Snape was extremely nervous, he was tempted to just run away and never return.  
  
"Come in," said a drawling voice. He and Avery followed the man into a cavernous room. There was a fire blazing on the far wall and on either side of the fireplace stood dozens of men in masks forming a semicircle.  
  
They stepped through a gap in the circle, the man who had beckoned them in stood in the gap completing the formation. There was a man standing in front of the fire with his back to them, "So you wish to join me and become a Death Eater, am I correct?"  
  
"Y-Y-Yes sir," Snape stammered.  
  
The man turned and faced them; Avery let out an audible gasp and Snape shivered. The man's face was snakelike with eerie scarlet slit pupils. "Does my appearance cause you discomfort?" he asked in a cold high-pitched voice.  
  
"N-N-N-No sir," Avery piped up still visibly shaken.  
  
"You!" Voldermort exclaimed pointing at Snape, "What is your name?"  
  
"Severus Snape," he answered straightening his back slightly.  
  
Voldermort nodded and turned his back to them again. "Know this now," he whispered in a menacing voice, "you will either leave here a Death Eater or you will never leave, at least alive anyways."  
  
"I understand," Avery and Snape stated in unison.  
  
"Very well," Voldermort said turning to face them, this time holding to crystal viles. He walked up to Avery and told him to reveal his forearm. Avery did as he was ordered and Voldermort traced an image on his forearm; Avery let out a howl of pain as blood trickled from his are into the vile.  
  
Voldermort removed his finger from Avery's arm and put a stopper in the vile and set it onto the mantelpiece. Voldermort then rounded on Snape asking him to reveal his forearm as Avery had done.  
  
He set his finger against Snape's forearm just below his elbow; it felt as if someone had jammed a burning knife into his arm. Voldermort's finger glide over Snape's arm etched a picture into his skin.  
  
When Voldermort removed his finger Snape looked down to see the mark that was put upon him. Burning black on his forearm was a skull with a serpent protruding from its mouth like a deadly tongue.  
  
Voldermort set the vile upon the mantelpiece next to Avery's. "Lucius please lead these men back home," the ordered and turned to Snape and Avery. "When I need you the mark I placed upon you will burn black again. When it burns black you are to disapparate from wherever you are and apparate at my side." He turned from them and went back to staring at the fire.  
  
The man who had brought them in stepped forward from his place in the circle, "Follow me," he hissed. Snape and Avery did as they were told, Snape absentmindedly rubbing his forearm where the mark lay. 


	6. Avada Kedavra

Avada Kedavra (Author's Note: I think there will be one more chapter after this and then  
it will be done. So I hope you enjoy and un taco to all.)  
  
"Well Severus," said Dumbledore as the images sunk back into the Pensieve, "your reasons for joining Lord Voldermort were quite, well, silly." Snape's body shook violently with silent sobs. Dumbledore continued, "Yet I still see no proof that you have renounced your ways."  
  
Snape still shaking sputtered, "C-Continue.l-l-looking.y-y-you'll.s-s-s- see." Dumbledore again prodded the Pensieve.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was becoming dark and Snape was staring down his hooked nose at the ground, twirling his wand absentmindedly.  
  
"Severus?" squeaked a small, frightened voice. Snape looked over and saw a figure struggle out of the nearby bushes.  
  
"Anna!" Snape exclaimed helping Anna to her feet. Her appearance had drastically changed since he had last seen her: her clothes were torn and dirty, her skin was covered in mud and her hair was matted and grimy.  
  
She threw her arms around Snape's neck sobbing wildly, "Oh Severus I thought I would never see you again." She looked around her eyes resembling a frightened rabbit.  
  
"Severus," she started her voice choked, "did I ever tell you that I love you?"  
  
"What?" Severus nearly toppled over, was he really hearing this."  
  
"Well, you see, I was afraid to talk you after that day when you saw Sirius and me dancing. So I gave a letter to Avery to give to you, it explained everything," she told him burying her face into his chest.  
  
Anger flared up into Snape, as he had never felt before, Avery had never mentioned a letter. Snape smoothed down Anna's hair, "What's happened to you?"  
  
Wailing sobs escaped her lips, "Voldermort, he did this. He came into my home and killed my family, and then he tried.he tried." she let out a earth shattering scream.  
  
Snape wheeled around, walking toward them slowly was Lord Voldermort. As he walked he slowly pulled out his wand and raised it directly at Anna and shouted "Avada Kedavra." A blinding green light issued from Voldermort's wand; Anna let out a soft whimpering scream and slumped onto the ground.  
  
Snape lost control; Voldermort had led him to believe that he would take care of him, that he, Severus Snape, was his heir and friend. That dream was shattered, Anna was dead and Severus felt more alone than he ever had before.  
  
He couldn't stop himself, he lunged forward; he wished only to rip Voldermort into shreds of what was his human form. Voldermort was too quick, and Snape stopped dead in his tracks as Voldermort hit him with an Impediment Curse.  
  
Snape awoke to see Voldermort standing over him, " That girl I killed was she special to you?"  
  
"Yeah," Snape grunted, still angry and feeling weary, he tried to get to his feet.  
  
Voldermort just stared at him and whispered, "I see." His voice rose slightly, "She was hindering my-our-progress, but obviously you had.er.feelings for her. I will give you three day to mourn her in which, unless necessary, I will not call on you."  
  
He turned hell and glided off, Snape following his progress with blurred eyes. After Snape was sure Voldermort was gone, he staggered to his feet and ran; to where he did not yet know. 


	7. My Hero

My Hero  
  
(Author's Note: Well this is the end of this story, but fear not, for if  
you enjoyed this one I will be using the characters and this story in a sequel. Well, actually this was more of a prequel but whatever. I hope  
you enjoyed this and hasta la bye-bye. -Traci. Oh yeah I don't own the  
characters, if you didn't already know that.)  
  
Snape ran and ran until the gates of Hogwarts loomed in front of him. He stopped and took a deep, ragged breath. He debated going to Dumbledore.  
  
~Voldermort sat in a high back chair; Snape was standing beside him facing the other way. Two masked Death Eaters walked into the room each holding an arm of a woman with brown hair and sharp blue eyes.  
  
"Lara Colene," Snape said viciously, "you have committed a treason against Lord Voldermort."  
  
"No," she shouted madly, "No, I-I helped him. I am your only true servant my lord, I am yours, I belong to only you."  
  
"Silence fool," came Voldermort's cold voice, "you have shamed me." He got up and walked toward the witch, "You knew that she was vital to me, that I needed her."  
  
"You didn't need her, you wanted her," the witch spat. "You lusted for her, but she, she won't touch you. She said it herself; she said you disgusted her. But I love you my lord. I love-"  
  
"Avada Kedavra," Voldermort hissed and the witch slumped to the floor. He gestured to the Death Eaters to remove Lara's body.  
  
He went to sit down again, "My lord, who is it you spoke of?" Snape asked.  
  
"Marie Constanance," Voldermort said coolly. ~  
  
Snape darted up the drive, he might not be able to save Anna but Voldermort would never hurt Marie.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dumbledore stared at Snape through his half-moon spectacled. "Severus I see your reasoning and I believe that you have truly forsaken Voldermort and everything involved with him."  
  
Snape began to wail loudly, he could no longer control his tears. He was so very thankful for knowing Dumbledore and for Dumbledore's forgiveness. He swore at that moment to do anything that Dumbledore asked of him, anything. "T-T-T-Thank y-y-you. T-T-Thank y-y-y-you."  
  
Dumbledore led a distraught Snape to the hospital wing, "Severus Snape your allegiance to Voldermort is broken; it has met its end."  
  
Dumbledore turned to leave the hospital wing when Snape stopped him and threw his arms around the elderly man, "I will do anything for you. I owe you so much."  
  
The old man patted down Snape's hair and whispered, "You needn't worry of those things now."  
  
Snape nodded and laid himself on a bed in the hospital wing. 'Albus Dumbledore is my hero,' Snape thought silently as he drifted to sleep. 


End file.
